The Chocolate Knot

Survey: Do Office Romances Lead to Marriage?

2012-02-09T19:21:00.001-05:00

Office romances can turn out one of two ways.

They can turn very sour in a very short period of time... like this:

... Or they can turn into a satisfying marriage... like mine! (Technically we didn't have an "office romance". We just happened to work for the same company. We never actually worked with each other.)

Anyway, a survey by CareerBuilder.com shows that lots of office romances lead to a walk down the aisle.

31% of employees say their office romance led to marriage.
38% of workers admit to having dated a coworker at least once over the course of their career.
17% of workers admit to dating coworkers at least twice.
28% of workers who dated a co-worker said they have dated someone above them in the company hierarchy, and 18% admitted to dating their boss.
Women were more likely than men to date someone above their pay grade, 35% to 23%.
Hospitality is the leading industry when it comes to office romances, with 47% of employees admitting they dated a co-worker. The financial services sector was next at 45%, followed by Transportation, Utilities, Information Technology and the healthcare industry.
26% reported that what someone does for a living influences whether they would date that person.
5% of workers revealed someone ended a relationship with them because either their job required too many hours at the office, they didn’t make enough money or the person didn’t like their line of work.
19% of respondents reported that they are more attracted to people who have a similar job.
Social settings outside of work were cited most often when it came to workers making a love connection.

So... did you meet your significant other at work?

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Things I Do That Annoy My Husband 2.8.12

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

So I've been featuring some of the quirky, annoying things that my loving husband, Marty, does around the house.

But I've had an epiphany... what about the things I do that bug him? ~~There's not much~~. But here's what I got in trouble for yesterday:

Apparently I never throw away lint from the dryer.

See what had happened was...

Doing laundry, as you probably already know, is my least favorite chore. Unloading the dryer, putting in a new load from the washer, then reloading the washer takes a lot of time. So I guess by the time I'm done, I forget that I've left a heap of dusty lint on the dryer instead of throwing it in the garbage. Now that he's brought it to my attention, I don't think I'll be so forgetful anymore.

What habits do you exhibit at home that annoy your spouse?

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Study: Arguing May be Good for Marriage

2012-02-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

Do you and your spouse argue and bicker a lot? Well, depending on how you handle those conflicts, you could be helping your marriage in a big way.

Image by ThinkStock on GettyImages.com

A research study conducted in India shows that 44% of couples believe that fighting helps to keep the lines of communication open.

What else did the study find?

Fighting and addressing problems constructively makes for a more stress-free relationship (as opposed to bottling things up.)
Arguing that is constructive and beneficial is much better than conflicts that are destructive, abusive or bitter.
It doesn't matter that couples get angry with each other, it's how they handle it that makes the difference.

(Don't forget that written communication works too!)

I can say, on a personal level, that constructive arguing is a beneficial way to handle conflicts. I've always been the type of person who shuts down when I'm upset. The silent treatment was always my primary defense mechanism. Honestly, I can ignore someone forever and not even think twice about it. But of course, letting things build up inside you is much too stressful and draining. Who needs that? But I've finally broken that cycle. Now, I find that addressing issues as soon as possible works wonders and saves a lot of unnecessary heartache. As the saying goes, communication is key. And it just makes everyone involved feel soooo much better! Do you agree?

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Crazy Things My Husband Does 2.3.12

2012-02-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

What is the meaning of this???

I'm glad I do 99% of the grocery shopping because otherwise we'd have a million of everything!

I understand why Marty has a slight obsession with Cheese Nips these days. The doctor ordered him to cut down on his cholesterol intake, so this is one of the few chip-like snacks he can OD on. But still........

Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.5.12

Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.12.12

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5 Common Marital Styles... Which One is Yours?

2012-02-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

In general, it takes married folks a couple of years to develop a "couple's style" or a "marital style". The way we communicate with our spouse for the rest of our lives is cultivated during those first critical years. But what happens when the marital style you've developed isn't so healthy?

Image by Noel Hendrickson on GettyImages.com

Dr. E. Mavis Hetherington, who's been researching marriage and divorce for 30 years, has come up with five common marital styles. Some of these style are prevalent in happy marriages while others tend to habitually end in divorce.

Do any of these marital styles ring true for you?

Cohesive Marriage
This marriage style is one in which the couple doesn't spend every waking moment together, but they are tightly bonded. These couples often have their own interests, their own careers, but at the end of the day they want to be in each other’s arms. They draw their support and love from each other. They are the gold standard as they make marriage look real. Most people idealize this type of marriage.

Traditional Marriage
This is the marriage your parents may have had. The breadwinner is the guy, and the wife takes on the duties of the home, kids and running the couple’s social life. Although it led to the least divorces in Dr. Hetherington’s thirty-year research study, the individual people may not have been the happiest. This marriage works great if both partners enjoy and embrace their roles. If something changes, such as the wife begins working, this type of marriage may become unstable.

Pursuer/distance Marriage
This type of style has many names. Nag-withdraw, or rejection –intrusion pattern. This style is also what romance novels, soaps, and chick flicks commonly use as their running theme. It may be the most romanticized of all the styles, but that’s where the positives end. It is the most likely style to end in divorce. Basically it looks like this. One of the partners wants to talk about an issue. The other partner doesn't want to discuss it, and withdraws by watching TV, reading, or by using 1,000 other excuses. The partner, who wanted to talk about the issue, becomes angry, resentful and sees the avoidance from their partner as a sign that they don’t care. This causes them to become cold, and bitter. The partner who resisted talking about the issue may sense the coldness, but withdraws further to protect themselves. By the time he or she is ready to talk, their partner has gone.

Disengaged Marriage
These couples are symbolic of many of my professional couples. They are so self-sufficient they don’t need each other on a daily basis for emotional support. They lack mutual interests and have many differences in their family backgrounds. They don’t require intimacy to be close. These couples don’t fight much, because you have to be engaged to fight. These couples don’t change their life for marriage. In fact, if they divorce, you don’t see much of a change in them from married or single. Dr. Hetherington notes in her study that these couples are the second most likely to get a divorce.

Operatic Marriage
These marriages are exciting to be around, but not to live in. They have the extreme highs and lows. They have the highest marital sex satisfaction scores because they are emotionally volatile and their quarreling often leads to sex. The problem is, words can wound as easily as a fist in a quarrel and eventually one partner is too wounded and leaves. These couples come in and are easy to identify. One of them will clearly state, “The great sex is no longer worth it.” When I hear that, I see a red flag and discover this marital style exists. It usually begins while dating, and because it feels natural to the couple, it continues into marriage.

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A Funny Text Exchange

2012-01-29T15:44:00.001-05:00

A little background info...

Marty goes back home to Jackson, MS around this time each year to get our taxes done. He's normally there for just one day, but this weekend he decided to stay and spend some time with his younger brother.

His brother's hobby is pimping... rides, that is. He restores old school Caddy's, Chevy's and other cars. So as Marty took a look at his brother's latest masterpiece, he texted me:

LOL!

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The Benefits of Healthy Marriages

2012-01-26T07:00:00.000-05:00

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Administration for Children & Families is one of the most reputable resources for statistics on marriage, divorce, family life and sociological statistics. That's why I was fascinated when I came across these research findings outlining what researchers have found to be the most prevalent benefits of happy and healthy marriage.

I highlighted the ones that I have experienced and/or witnessed myself. Which ones have you experienced or seen first hand?

Benefits of Healthy Marriages

Image by Jupiter on GettyImages.com

For Children and Youth

More likely to attend college
More likely to succeed academically
Physically healthier
Emotionally healthier
Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
Demonstrate less behavioral problems in school
Less likely to be a victim of physical or sexual abuse
Less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol
Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
Have a better relationship with their mothers and fathers
Decreases their chances of divorcing when they get married
Less likely to become pregnant as a teenager, or impregnate someone.
Less likely to be sexually active as teenagers
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to be raised in poverty

For Women

More satisfying relationship
Emotionally healthier
Wealthier
Less likely to be victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or other violent crimes
Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to remain or end up in poverty
Have better relationships with their children
Physically healthier

For Men

Live longer
Physically healthier
Wealthier
Increase in the stability of employment
Higher wages
Emotionally healthier
Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
Have better relationships with their children
More satisfying sexual relationship
Less likely to commit violent crimes
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to attempt or commit suicide

For Communities

Higher rates of physically healthy citizens
Higher rates of emotionally healthy citizens
Higher rates of educated citizens
Lower domestic violence rates
Lower crime statistics
Lower teen age pregnancy rates
Lower rates of juvenile delinquency
Higher rates of home ownership
Lower rates of migration
Higher property values
Decreased need for social services

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365 Days of Us

2012-01-25T19:09:00.003-05:00

Have you ever used a photo service like Shutterfly, Flickr or Snapfish? These are all great websites for getting prints of your photos in addition to cool stuff like coffee mugs, t-shirts, posters and other items with your pictures on them.

So if you've used any of these sites, they probably bombard you with junk e-mails. Shutterfly sends me stuff every week. And I've been spamming those e-mails for years... until now.

Shutterfly e-mails normally offer free stuff. But I always assumed that it's "free" only after you spend like $30 on their site. But when I saw an offer for a free calendar with no strings attached, I decided to give it a try.

Here's what I got for free (ok, I paid $5 for shipping & handling):

It's a 12-month calendar, each month with a different photo of us... along with quotes about love and marriage.

It took a really long time to put together, but it was free so whatev.

Now that I think about it, this calendar will come in handy. Marty has a habit of saying "We just had date night last week." ... when in fact it was like three weeks ago. Maybe now we he can finally keep track :)

So if you get any of these junk e-mails, it might be worth it to take a peak before hitting that Spam button!

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Divorce News Makes Me Sad

2012-01-24T20:03:00.000-05:00

I was checking out my Google Alerts and noticed a sad and unfortunate trend.

Image by Jack Star on GettyImages.com

I know that Hollywood and divorces sort of go hand in hand, but it seems like it's gotten a little out of control lately.

Or is it just me?

Look at how many celeb divorces are currently in the news (NOTE: The Newt Gingrich story is not about a current divorce, but it does mention one of his previous marriages...)

What do you think about celebrities and divorce? Are you unfazed because it's so common? Or does it still make you a little sad that yet another matrimonial bond has come to an end?

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WTH? Rapper Happily Married for 20 Years

2012-01-23T19:35:00.001-05:00

Do you remember this video?

I haven't watched music videos in almost 10 years, but I do remember this song. I was ~~surprised~~ thoroughly shocked when I found out today that rapper Malice of the duo Clipse has been married for 20 years.

That's right A rapper. Married. Happily married. For 20 YEARS.

Wth? What do he and his wife know that all these other couples don't?

“I don’t think that’s it’s a bad thing to get married at a young age. At any age it’s going to take work, you know what I’m saying? It’s going to take work, but all this ‘go out, live your life, do this, do that…’ I mean, I don’t subscribe to that. I subscribe to you find that person who is special to you, you love each other, and you want to get married and have children and that’s what you do.”

He also added this which I TOTALLY agree with:

“Faith is the foundation. It’s the floor plan to my marriage. Faith and forgiveness lay the ground rules. I think we give up too quick and I think we’re too quick to get rid of a person and I just think that we need to work with each other more. [...] sometimes you just have to go through the fire to be purified.”

I'm at a loss for words.

Thoughts?

Information from FreshLikeDougie.com

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Study: Couples Benefit from Spending Time with Other Couples

2012-01-19T07:30:00.000-05:00

Image via Jack Hollingsworth on GettyImages.com

According to an article in USA Today, researchers believe that:

"Being close with another couple and watching how they manage their ups and downs is a role model for how you can manage your ups and downs,"

Do you agree?

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Where is Jessica Biel's Engagement Ring?

2012-01-16T21:29:00.000-05:00

It was announced recently that longtime on and off couple Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake finally got engaged. But at Sunday's 69th Annual Golden Globes, Jessica's new ring was MIA.

Image from NY Daily News

I've blogged a couple times about engagement rings (see recap below). But this invisible ring seems a little fishy to me. As a newly engaged woman, wouldn't you want to show EVERYONE your new bling?

Why do you think Jessica to attend this huge Hollywood event without her new jewel?

Who keeps the ring?
Husband finds diamond in the rough
The Ring
Do you care if he wears his wedding ring?

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Wives on the Red Carpet at the 2012 Golden Globes

2012-01-15T20:33:00.001-05:00

Actress Sarah Michelle Gellar (married to actor Freddie Prinze Jr. since 2002)

Actress Claire Danes (married to actor Hugh Dancy since 2009)

Actress Melissa McCarthy (married to actor Ben Falcone since 2005)

Personality and socialite Nicole Richie (married to Joel Madden since 2010)

TV host Giuliana Rancic (married to Bill Rancic since 2007)

Actress Reese Witherspoon (married to Jim Toth since 2011)

Actress Viola Davis (married to Julius Tennon since 2003)

Fashion model Heidi Klum (married to singer Seal since 2005)

Actress Kate Beckinsale (married to director/producer Len Wiseman since 2004)

Actress Laura Linney (married to Marc Schauer since 2009)

Actress Zooey Deschanel (divorce pending from musician Benjamin Gibbard)

Singer Mary J. Blige (married to manager Kendu Isaacs since 2003)

Actress Paula Patton (married to singer Robin Thicke since 2005)

All images from E! Online and OMG Yahoo!

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If I Ruled the World

2012-01-13T07:30:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: This post is a little off topic. But keep reading to find out why.

Apparently Quincy thinks I’m smart/adequate/stable enough to rule the world. So I’ve been ordered to list three things I’d change to enforce control and change the world we live in.

If this world were mine:

Facebook would automatically reject status updates that make no grammatical sense whatsoever. Text lingo was cool a few years ago. Remember this Cingular commercial? Funny. Cute. But it’s gotten way out of control. I mean, it is really necessary to replace “was” with “wuz”? “baby” with “bb”? “Her” with “ha”? Isn’t it easier to just type things correctly? Er maybee im juss stoopid.
Parents would be required to regulate the shows their children watch AND the music their children listen to. Part of me believes that parents would be more selective if they only knew what kinds of garbage their kids were consuming. Seriously, if my mom had listened to the Mase cd before she bought it for me back in 1997... But part of me knows that some parents are happy to participate in the foolishness right along with their kids. I know mothers that watch Love and Hip Hop every week with their young, impressionable kids. Then again, I guess that could technically count as quality family time, no?
People would be required to learn and appreciate cultures other than their own. Nothing bothers me more than telling someone a story about a friend or coworker and they ask me, “Was she black or white?” I always respond “Neither” just to mess with them. Are blacks and whites the only people that exist in this world? And another thing... we have got to stop with the cultural generalizations. Every Hispanic person is NOT Mexican. Every black person with an accent is NOT Jamaican. Got it?

Okay so now I’m required to grant five other people the power to rule the world.

Yoruba at Always Kiss Me Goodnight
Mimi at Lipgloss and Binky
CC at Because Everybody Has a Story
Faith at Life, Love and Marriage
Dani at OK Dani

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Marriage Advice from Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

2012-01-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

He says:

"Romance is interesting, but somebody much more prolific than I am put it better - 'she should be a Madonna in the kitchen and a w**re in the bedroom.' That’s pretty accurate. And guys have to be in good health."

She says:

"Keep having sex in different ways. Try to think of something new."

Why doesn't this surprise me?

Source: National Ledger

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Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.12.12

2012-01-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

Story of my life.

1.5.12

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I've Been Tagged

2012-01-12T00:11:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Faith! I know I'm supposed to tag 11 people to keep the chain going, bit it's after midnight so I'm skipping that part. Forgive me!

1. What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
My iTunes isn't accurate. But right now on my iPhone it's Someone Like You by Adele. I'm completely obsessed with this song. The lyrics do something to me every time.

2. What chore do you absolutely hate doing?
Um... all of them? I guess laundry tops the list though.

3. What’s your favorite indoor/outdoor activity?
Indoor: Reading
Outdoor: Reading

4. What is one of your favorite quotes?
"Don't speak about what you are going to do. Do it and let it speak for itself."

5. If you could have a $10,000 shopping spree to one store, which store would it be and how long would it take you to spend the $10,000?
Probably H&M... maybe 8 hours... I have no idea.

6. What is your favorite meal to prepare?
Chicken stir fry... I randomly whipped some up last week without looking at a recipe and it came out AWESOME! (Photo)

7. What is the silliest prank you ever played on someone?
I guess I'm not much of a prankster. I can't think of anything!

8. Who would you want to play you in the movie about your life?
Camille Winbush, only because a lot of people have said I am just like the character she played on The Bernie Mac Show. *rolls eyes*

9. How many siblings do you have?
Two. My sister will be 16 next month and my brother will be 7 next month.

10. What is your guilty pleasure?
TMZ and The Soup

11. What food/dessert couldn't you live without?
Potatoes

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What My Husband Taught Me About Credit Cards

2012-01-11T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning I was at work blogging my life away when my phone rang. It was Marty calling to tell me that he'd stopped to get gas and his debit card was declined. He called the bank and they informed him that they froze his account for suspicious activity. Someone in Spain was trying to make online purchases with his account number.

At first, I panicked. He was 300 miles away from home at the time. How the heck was he gonna get gas? How was he gonna eat? I immediately began estimating where the closest Western Union was at so I could wire my boo some money.

Then it hit me: Marty has not one, not two but THREE credit cards. Credit cards that I've begged him for years to get rid of because they are nothing but extra bills.

Background: I was raised in an anti-credit card family. My dad has NEVER owned a single credit card. He always taught me that if something can't be purchased with cash, wait until I have enough cash to buy it outright. I did rack up some credit card debt in college, but I paid it off and haven't had a single card in my name since 2006.

But now I'm starting to have second thoughts. What if that was me 300 miles away from home and I couldn't use my debit card? I'd be completely lost and scared out of my mind. But I'm sort of glad Marty went through this situation because it might save me from similar trouble down the road.

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Does Facebook Cause Cheating?

2012-01-09T20:56:00.001-05:00

Earlier this week, I shared an article on Twitter that garnered a lot of responses. The article reveals that 33% of all divorce petitions in the U.K. contain the word "Facebook". The most common misuses of Facebook include the following:

Inappropriate messages to members of the opposite sex.
Separated spouses posting nasty comments about each other.
Facebook friends reporting spouse’s behavior.

So I wonder...

Does Facebook (and the internet in general) make cheating possible?

Or does it just make it easier?

GettyImages.com

There's a popular book entitled "How Facebook Destroyed My Marriage". While I'm sure that this particular wife's life was destroyed, I can't concur with such a statement. While Facebook and other sites are certainly used as tools to commit adultery online, I firmly believe that it's your spouse that ruins your marriage, not the internet.

My guess is that those who use the internet for foul purposes probably fall into one of two categories:

Those who are going to cheat regardless of internet availability. Sites like Facebook just provide additional (and easier) access.
Those who have never cheated before, but ease of access online is too tempting to resist.

Thoughts?

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Joint vs. Separate Accounts... Which is Better?

2012-01-09T18:41:00.000-05:00

Image via Jamie Grill on GettyImages.com

Once many couples tie the knot, they automatically take a trip to the bank and join their money in holy matrimony. Still, other couples decide that keeping their money separate is the best way to go. But is there truly a definitive answer regarding the need for joint accounts in marriage? Is one choice really better than the other? I did some research online and here's what I found:

Benefits of joint bank accounts:

It encourages open communication about money and spending habits
It can discourage expensive or unnecessary purchases
No need to argue about splitting the bills or who pays what & how much
Provides a sense of teamwork and unity
Merging accounts is much simpler than dealing with multiple accounts
Easy access to more funds in case of an emergency (in case of a death, you'd have to go through probate court to get access to your spouse's money)
Savings accounts will earn more interest when two people are depositing money instead of one

Drawbacks to joint bank accounts:

One spouse may resent the other once spending or saving habits are revealed
Spouses may feel guilty or think twice about every single purchase

Benefits of SEPARATE accounts:

It's easier to surprise your spouse with gifts
Provides a sense of privacy, independence and autonomy without criticism

Drawbacks to JOINT accounts:

Lack of communication about money
Places the financial burden on one person
Each spouse may be making purchases without monitoring available funds, which could lead to over-drafting
If a couple is experiencing problems or are on the verge of divorce, either spouse has every right to withdraw all funds.

What's your opinion about joining money in marriage?

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Why Husbands Shouldn't Be Allowed to do Mic Checks

2012-01-05T17:27:00.001-05:00

This dude would SO be in the dog house if he was my husband.

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Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.5.12

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

He pays $10 for deli meat.

I could see if we were major sandwich lovers. I could see if we had kids. But 50% of all the deli meat that comes into this house ends up expiring after we've only eaten a couple sandwiches. Either we get tired of it, or the package gets lost in a sea of other foods in the refrigerator. I can't believe he bought a whole pound! Smh.

What crazy things does your spouse do?

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Is It Okay to Sue Your Spouse's Lover?

2012-01-02T07:00:00.000-05:00

Cheating sucks. Or so I've heard. It's one of the main reasons why people get divorced. The psychological, emotional and even physical toll can take years to heal. And some people never heal.

Image by Sheer Photo on GettyImages.com

But maybe a cool million will heal all wounds. That's what one man in Utah is hoping for.

Married for about 15 years, said husband found out that his wife (also the mother of his teenage children) started cheating on him in 2010. Last year, she left them to join her boy toy in Idaho.

The husband alleged the lover knew all along that he was having an affair with a married woman who had two children, but continued the affair anyway. The affair, the husband alleged, cost him the "lawful, natural and conjugal rights and privileges" that he was entitled to in the marriage, as well as robbing their children of "the love, companionship, services and income that form the foundation of family life with two parents."

Since the husband alleges that the boy toy knew that he was ruining the couple's marriage, he's suing the man.

$1 million for punitive damages
$250,000 for intentionally inflicting emotional distress
$250,000 for causing alienation of affections
$1.5 million

I don't know about that large sum of money, but courts have awarded monies to scorned spouses in the past. So he might be headed for a huge payday.

I can't imaging suing a woman - for any amount of money - if Marty cheated on me. My anger or revenge (not physical or violent, of course) would be geared toward him since he's the one who deceived me. But if the chick is a friend or a family member, that might change things a bit.

Do you see any validity in suing your spouse's lover?

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What Does Marriage Mean to You?

2012-01-01T11:30:00.000-05:00

I'm hoping to start a new feature in 2012. I want to hear from you - wives and husbands too! All you have to do is answer one simple question:

What does marriage mean to you?

I think it's important to refocus on the institution of marriage, especially since the media and celebrities seem to treat it like a game. Let's show everyone how REAL married life is - the reasons we got married and, more importantly, the reasons we STAY married.

Image by Jamie Grill on GettyImages.com

If you're interested in guest posting, e-mail me at knotchocolate@gmail.com.

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2011 Blog Shout Outs

2011-12-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

As the year slowly comes to a close, I wanted to give a sincere shout out to a few of my favorite wives and bloggers. These ladies have been SO generous when it comes to commenting on The Chocolate Knot, even though I so horrible at returning the favor. But I promise to do better in 2012! (Visit my blog roll to see other blogs that I follow!)

Faith at Life, Love and Marriage
My favorite posts by Faith in 2011:

Frugalista at Because Everybody Has a Story
My favorite posts by Frugalista in 2011:

Cynthia at Adventures of Team Pancakes
My favorite posts by Cynthia in 2011:

Kathy at The Lovelace Files
*Let me just say that Kathy is my virtual hero. Her DIY creations are INSANE!!! Whatever gene she was born with, I surely don't have it. Here are some of my favorites from Kathy in 2011:

Happy New Year ladies! I look forward to reading more in 2012!

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Happy New Year!

2011-12-27T19:26:00.000-05:00

I hope you all had a lovely holiday. I'm taking a little break until 2012 rings in. So until then...

HAVE A SAFE AND VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Image by Lauren Burke on GettyImages.com

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Awkward Holiday Moments with the In-Laws

2011-12-14T19:00:00.000-05:00

For the past few years, Marty and I have been alternating holidays between our families. We spend Thanksgiving at home in Atlanta with my family, then we hit the road for Christmas to visit his family for a few days in Mississippi.

I think four years ago was the very first time we spent Christmas with his family. It was special for me because that's when I met his grandmother for the first time. She lives in Massachusetts and doesn't travel back to Mississippi very often.

This was also the same time I met Marty's younger brother for the first time. I think he was on an "involuntary vacation" during the first few years that Marty and I dated. He's been in trouble with the law a few times, and he's got four kids and tons of baby mama drama. Oh, the stories I could share!

So imagine how awkward it was when all of us are at the Christmas dinner table laughing and having a pleasant meal when his brother walks in and introduces himself to me by saying "Yeah, I'm sure you've heard I'm the crazy outcast of the family."

*Crickets*

How do you respond to that? It was super awkward, especially when his grandmother and my mother in law insisted to know exactly why he considers himself an outcast. I couldn't get out of there fast enough!

Have you had any awkward moments with your in-laws?

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The DIY Chronicles: Book/Shoe Shelf

2011-12-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, Marty bought me a small bookshelf to store my budding book collection. Now, it doesn't even hold half of my books. So I decided to put it to better use and turn it into a shoe shelf.

I was inspired by this before/after DIY project I found months ago on Apartment Therapy:

So I figured I'd give it a stab...

I spray painted the outside of it a satin gold color.

But the wrapping paper I chose to layer the inside just wasn't working out.

So I abandoned the entire project for about four months. I finally decided last weekend that it was time to finish it... with a new wrapping paper.

It's not nearly wide enough to fit all of my favorite winter shoes. Bummer.

I'm not totally crazy about it, but it'll do for now.

Check out my other DIY Chronicles:

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New Study Reveals Secrets to a Happy Marriage

2011-12-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

A segment on ABC World News with Diane Sawyer last week discussed findings from a new marriage and family study. According to the research...

65% of married couples say they are less happy after children
35% say they are very happy after having children
Parents with four or more children are the happiest

Also, a compilation of responses from married couples revealed what they believe to be secrets to a happy marriage:

Image from Photodisc on GettyImages.com

Thoughts?

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Grandma Should be Having Sex

2011-12-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Old people and sex. No one wants to think about grandma and grandpa still getting it on after all these years, but it does still happen. And that's a good thing!

Image by Lisa Peardon on GettyImages.com

In fact, it might provide a glimmer of hope for us younger married folks. That's because a new study shows that sexual activity is necessary for a happy marriage after age 65.

According to research, senior citizens who reported having sex more than 1x per month showed signs of being extremely happy with life in general. Those who don't have sex reported more cases of depression and general unhappiness.

Go get some grandma! Lol!

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How Marriage Check-Ups Work

2011-12-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I shared with you all the fascinating idea of "marriage check-ups", courtesy of Glenda, a good friend and former coworker of mine. You can read that post here if you haven't already.

I was completely flabbergasted not only by the concept of marriage check-ups, but also that many of you engage in similar acts within your own marriage.

My plan was to have Glenda do a guest post for me. But she was super nervous and said that she has no writing skills, so instead I sat down with her and recorded a short interview. Below are all of her answers. Enjoy!

How long have you been married?
It will be 15 years in March.

How many children do you and your husband have?
We have two sons - 13 and 8.

How did you come up with the concept of "marriage check-ups"?
When our youngest son was about 3, we were going through a really rough time. Mostly financial stuff, but it affected just about every aspect of our family life. We thought about getting a divorce. I noticed that we were basically living day to day and not successfully addressing all of the issues that were rumbling underneath the surface.

So I felt like I had to take action. I had my parents take our kids for the weekend so that Andrew and I could hash out all of our problems. We both agreed to lay EVERYTHING out on the table. Whatever was bothering us, we brought it up.

Money was the main thing. We also talked about him spending more hours at work than at home. But I was surprised to learn that he had issues with how I disciplined our boys. And he was concerned that I wasn't taking care of my physical appearance like I used to. I never knew he even had opinions about those things.

By dishing everything out, we learned so much about our relationship that we had been afraid to ever bring up. I am convinced that that weekend saved our marriage. We both saw how good it was, so we decided to keep checking in with each other on a regular basis.

How often do you have these marriage check-ups? Do you think the frequency matters?
We try to do it twice per year. Usually around January 1st just because it's a fresh beginning. Then again when we take summer vacation. I think it depends on the couple and the severity of the problems. Two times a year works just fine for us. But some couples might choose to do it quarterly, every other month, or maybe even monthly.

For couples who may want to try marriage check-ups, what do you suggest?
I think the biggest thing is to do it away from the kids and away from the home if possible. The discussion could get heated and kids don't need to hear all that. A few times we got a hotel for the weekend just to have a change of scenery, but that's not always in the budget.

Another thing is that Andrew and I create a written document so that we can have a record of everything we talk about. We are so incredibly busy with work and the kids, so I know we would forget half the things we discuss. It's just a list of things we want each other to do more or less of. We both keep a copy on the nightstand by the bed. We couldn't ignore it if we tried to.

Can you name any specific ways that marriage check-ups have helped?
Andrew has become an expert husband. He knows what I like and what I don't. He knows that I absolutely LOVE foot rubs. And I adore when he helps the boys with their homework. So once I brought those things up, he began doing them.

I've learned through our meetings that Andrew likes my undivided attention. Once the boys are are asleep at night, Andrew likes to chat in bed with the TV off. He thinks I'm a little too attached to the TV sometimes. And sometimes I miss my favorite shows, but that quiet quality time with him is priceless. I also know that Andrew likes all of us as a family to go out to dinner about once a month, but he likes me to schedule the time and place. So I do that for him as well.

These things sound small, but they really do make a huge difference for us.

I really hope Glenda's explanation helps someone who needs it! I know I'm looking forward to a marriage check-up really soon :)

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Is Your Boss Ruining Your Marriage?

2011-12-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

What's your relationship like with your boss at work? If it's not good, it could be having negative affects on your marriage, according to a Baylor University study.

Image by Ferran Traite Soler on GettyImages.com

An "abusive" boss is characterized as one who:

Tells you that your thoughts or feelings are stupid
Expresses anger at you when he/she is mad for another reason
Criticizes and berates you in front of others
Tells you that you are incompetent

When exposed to this type of treatment at work, the affects at home can be damaging. It can lead to resentment toward your spouse and/or kids, intense mood swings and constant arguing or disagreeing.

Click here to read more details about the study.

Have you ever had problems at work that followed you home?

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5 Reasons You Should Cuddle Tonight!

2011-12-06T17:37:00.000-05:00

I like to cuddle. And I know you do too!

Image by Paul Bradbury on GettyImages.com

Cuddling in my house usually consists of Marty and I laying on opposite ends of the couch with our legs intertwined while watching TV. Our other favorite cuddle position is in bed with me laying his chest. It's so peaceful and relaxing!

But did you ever think that cuddling with your boo could have health benefits? Well, according to Shape Magazine, it does!

It feels good and increases your overall happiness.
It can lead to a healthy sex life.
Physical contact and bonding with another person helps to reduce stress and anxiety.
It bonds women not only with their significant other, but with their babies as well. This is critical for a child's development.
It helps with communication skills because cuddling creates a mutual understanding.

Are you a fan of cuddling?

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Top 10 Reasons Why People Get Divorced

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-05:00

For the first time in years, it looks like the divorce rate is finally taking a dip. The number of divorces dropped by 7% in 2010. That's good news, right?

It must mean that couples are learning to work through their issues instead of calling it quits. Or maybe men and women are making smarter choices about who they tie the knot with.

Well, not really.

Photo by Mother Image on GettyImages.com

Research shows that there are tons of couples who are dying to get a divorce, but they simply can't afford it. So, the economy is to thank for the nation's decreasing divorce rate. And because of financial woes, these couples are being forced to deal with their problems since divorce isn't an option.

Why do people get divorced, anyway? A researcher at the University of Minnesota says the top reasons are:

Grew apart
Unable to talk/communicate effectively
Spouse's handling of money
Spouse's personal problems
Lack of attention from spouse
Infidelity
Spouse's personal habits
Sexual problems
Differences in tastes/preferences (I guess this means nothing in common)
Alcohol/drug problems

Information from the Lynchburg News & Advance

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Studies Continue to Show that Marriage is Good for Your Health

2011-12-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

Experts have studied the correlation between marriage and health for years. Recently, a new study published by the Journal of Health Psychology further proves that marriage can have positive affects on one's health.

Image by FotoSearch on GettyImages.com

Here's a summary of the findings:

People who were married when they had heart surgery were 2.5 times more likely to be alive 15 years later than unmarried people.
Only 36% of men were still alive 15 years after surgery while 83 percent of the men who said they were highly satisfied with their marriage survived.

Other studies have found that being married generally correlates with:

Decreased drug and alcohol use
Reduced depression
Increased social skills

Have you experienced any health-related benefits since you've been married?

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Our Christmas Wreath

2011-11-30T22:25:00.001-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I took a trip to one of my favorite stores - Hobby Lobby. I was in search of some holiday decor for the house. I found the most fabulous wreath and it was 50% off, but even with the discount it was $50. I didn't think it was worth it. So I headed to Kmart and found another wreath I really liked for just $18!

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Hubby's Fashion Fail

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

When I blogged earlier this week about shopping for hubby's Christmas gift, I snapped a few pictures of his closet. That's when I came across this:

His beloved plaid dalmatian flannel shirt. He's had it since probably the mid-1990s. I have no idea when this shirt was ever in style (I don't think it ever was), but he absolutely refuses to get rid of it. He KNOWS he's never gonna wear it again. But he just can't/won't let it go. Ugh!

Does your spouse own any "fashion fail" items that you wish you could get rid of?

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Hot Gift for 2011: Kindle Fire

2011-11-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

After pulling my hair out trying to decide what to get hubby for Christmas, I've started doing some research.

It seems like the hottest gift this year will be the new Kindle Fire. Unfortunately that wouldn't be a good gift for my husband. He doesn't have much time to read and he already has an iPad. And I already have the original Kindle, so I'll just have to make due with that. Still, I wanted to feature a the new Kindle in case any of you were interested buying!

The (original) Kindle is the #1 best-selling product on Amazon.com. And their new addition to the e-reader family has a number of brand new advantages to offer:

Traditional reading capabilities of first generation Kindle, in addition to:
Web browsing
E-mail
Movie and music downloads
About 10,000 apps to choose from

In all honesty, it does pretty much everything the iPad does, but for a much lower price.

Do you plan on buying the Kindle Fire for anyone this Christmas?

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On the Hunt for Hubby's Christmas Gift

2011-11-28T08:00:00.000-05:00

So, the hunt is on. What the heck do I buy my husband for Christmas this year?

This man is so very hard to shop for. He HAS to be the pickiest person on the planet! While most people will smile politely when they receive a gift they don't like, my husband is soooo not that person with me. If he doesn't like it, he will let it be known. I love that he's outspoken, but I usually end up getting the short end of the stick. I do my best not to feed into the consumerism that has taken over the holiday season. But that doesn't negate the fact that I'd like to get my husband something nice for Christmas.

There's only one gift I know I can't go wrong with: Ralph Lauren Polo shirts. But that's so extremely boring and predictable. He already has more than 50 Polo shirts. Trust me, I counted.

Then again, my past attempts to think outside the box have lead to utter failure. So maybe I just need to add to his collection and call it a (holi)day.

Remember the flat screen I got him last year? Yeah, I thought I won the Wife of the Year Award for sure.

Not so much. He wasn't a fan of the brand I bought, and he wanted a 52", not a 32". Well excuse the heck outta me! We ended up returning it so he could upgrade his old iPhone to the new iPhone. Le sigh.

Other gifts I've gotten him that went down in flames:

Gucci sunglasses. He actually did wear them for a little while, but they got pushed to the side once he bought a pair of Versace's.
Two silk Armani shirts. I think he's worn one of them once. The other still has tags on it.

I can remember one success though. The Burberry shirt I got him, which he said is his favorite shirt. Yay!

I had my heart set on getting him an authentic Dallas Cowboys jersey this year. He's completely obsessed with the team. But at nearly $300, I don't think it's worth it.

So, my journey has begun. Wish me luck!

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Can Having Married (not Single) Friends Hurt Your Marriage?

2011-11-26T15:58:00.001-05:00

I am a huge proponent of married women having married friends. It's hard to explain but once you get married, hanging out with single friends isn't quite the same anymore. Single friends shouldn't be kicked to the curb just because you've tied the knot. I just think married friends should be added to your circle.

I think having married girlfriends can be beneficial because they can provide a wealth of knowledge and advice about married life, especially if they've been married for a while. But what happens when having married (yes married, not single) friends begins to take a toll on your marriage?

Image by Rubberball Productions on GettyImages.com

Here's an example to get my point across:

You've noticed for a while that your married friend and her husband (Jane and John) have a very active social life. From weekly karaoke nights and at-home dinner parties to concerts and walks in the park - they do it all. They just always seem like they have so much fun together!

With a twinge of jealousy, you tell your husband that you feel like you're missing out. The two of you should be going out more often and enjoying life... just like Jane and John.

Your husband's response: Just because Jane and John do those things doesn't mean we have to.

This is exactly what has happened to a friend of mine. Over the last few months, her husband has accused her of wanting to emulate other couples because she isn't satisfied with their marriage. But she's just trying to find ways to bring them closer together.

If married girlfriends are supposed to provide you with ideas on how to improve your marriage, what happens when your spouse accuses you of wanting to be a "copy cat" couple?

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The Marriage Check Up

2011-11-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

I have a coworker who's been happily married for about 15 years. According to her, the success of her marriage is partly due to she and her husband participating in bi-annual "marriage check ups".

Are you wondering what a marriage check up is? Don't worry. I was clueless too.

Basically she and her husband take time out twice per year to examine the state of their marriage. They take a long weekend away from home and the kids to review their relationship over the past six months - the good, the bad and the ugly. They reflect on the happy times and assess the arguments and disagreements. Their goal is to come up with a plan on how to improve their relationship until their next marriage check up. They even come up with a written agreement outlining what they'll do more or less of.

I am so intrigued. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Have you and your spouse engaged in "marriage check ups"?

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Image from Daniel Laflor on GettyImages.com

When Facebook and Marriage Collide

2011-11-15T18:16:00.001-05:00

What would happen if your spouse "happened to find" your Facebook password? Would they stumble upon anything incriminating once they logged into your account?

Well, one Connecticut couple is probably going to find out. The swapping of their social networking passwords has been officially ordered by the judge presiding over their divorce. Ironically (and so far successfully), the judge is blatantly ignoring the "strict" privacy restrictions set forth by Facebook and other social networking websites.

From e-mails to chat room conversations, internet activity has provided tons of evidence for scorned lovers to present in divorce court. But it brings about an interesting debate about where (or whether) to draw the line between husband and wife. Traditionally, most would argue that a marriage automatically merges any and everything related to husband and wife - money, children, household, etc. You know, the whole "what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours" theory. But should the internet and personal online accounts be included?

Thoughts?

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Image from Master Isolated Images on Free Digital Photos

Husband Finds Diamond in the Rough

2011-11-11T18:16:00.001-05:00

I guess my theme this week is engagement rings!

So ladies, what would you do if your husband accidentally threw your $10,000 ring in the trash... and the garbage man already hauled it off? Would you order him to buy a new one? Or make him drive down to the local landfill to find it?

Well, meet a husband who did the latter.

When he mistakenly threw out his wife's ring with his disposable razor, Brian McGuinn went down to the local garbage site and dug through more than 8 tons of trash... and he actually found it! Click here to read the entire article.

What would your husband have done in this situation?

I know mine would have just bought a new one kept it moving.

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Who Keeps the Ring?

2011-11-10T18:40:00.001-05:00

I had no plans to blog about the whole Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries debacle. I don't find their split funny or entertaining. Marriage is not a game and it's not something to be taken lightly. Vowing before God to spend the rest of your life someone - through sickness and in health, good and bad, ups and downs, till death do you part - is supposed to be the most serious commitment you ever make.

Or not. Whatever.

What's caught my attention is the situation with Kim's engagement ring. What will happen to the 20.5-carat ring reportedly worth about $20 million?

Kardashian or not, a fiance or wife is typically left with three choices:

Give the ring back.
Keep the ring... for whatever reason.
Sell the ring for a profit.

(By the way, some reports say a prior agreement will force Kim to pay Kris in order to keep the ring.)

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Personally, I'm completely against #2. Why would I want to keep a ring that reminds me of the person I've decided isn't good enough to spend my life with?

Giving it back is sort of sketchy too, in my opinion. A ring is a gift. Point blank. So the fiance/wife is free to do with it what she wants, right?

So as shallow or gold-diggerish as it may seem, I think I side with selling the ring and making a little money off of it. But then again, who knows what I'd do if I was really in that situation.

What would you do with the ring in the case of a divorce or broken engagement?

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Signs of a Good Weekend Ahead

2011-11-10T18:02:00.001-05:00

I got my braces tightened yesterday afternoon. It hurt like hell. And my soft food diet of yogurt, jello, apple sauce, etc. is no fun. Today was a pretty miserable day... until I got home.

Hubby decided to go to the grocery store (BONUS POINTS) and bought ingredients to cook dinner (MAJOR BONUS POINTS). He's making chili (ADDITIONAL MAJOR BONUS POINTS) which is his specialty. He only makes it once a year, so my mouth is watering right now :)

On another note, I'm looking forward to date night tomorrow. It's always nice to spend a night out with your significant other, but it'll be especially special on Friday because we actually agree on what movie to go see!!! This NEVER happens. Usually I have to ~~suffer~~ sit through his movie choice and he has to ~~suffer~~ sit through mine. But we both are looking forward to seeing J. Edgar. I love movies with Oscar-buzz (and anything with Leonardo DiCaprio), and hubby typically doesn't, so I'm glad we finally agree!

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Book Giveaway Winner!

2011-11-05T12:52:00.000-04:00

It's my birthday!!! So as promised, I'm announcing the winner of my book giveaway. For some reason, this contest didn't garner as many entries as my last one. But it's all good. The winner is......

Mrs. Pancakes from Adventures of Team Pancakes!

She'll be receiving a copy of this book:

Congrats Mrs. Pancakes! You'll hear from me later today for further details.

Also, I have to give a special shout out to my only other entrant, Faith from Life Love & Marriage. Thanks so much for entering!!!

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Book Giveaway! (UPDATED)

2011-10-30T19:23:00.000-04:00

My birthday is Saturday. I'm officially entering the last year of my 20s. So to celebrate, I'm giving one of YOU a gift.

When my beloved Borders bookstore closed back in August, I racked up on tons of clearance books. But I haven't read any of them. So I've decided to give one away: Every Day Love: The Delicate Art of Caring for Each Other by Judy Ford.

It's a mini-size book, about 260 pages, filled with simple ways to add more love, romance and little acts of kindness into your marriage. Many of the reviews on Amazon.com say that the entire book can be read in just one or two sittings. And it's a very easy read, not like many of the marriage textbooks that are often difficult or boring to read.

So if you want to win this book, there are three really easy ways to enter! (YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ALL 3 OF THESE. JUST ONE WILL GET YOU ENTERED!)

Leave the following comment below "Please enter me into the book giveaway!"
"Like" The Chocolate Knot Facebook page, then post on my wall "Please enter me into the book giveaway!"
Follow @KnotChocolate on Twitter, then send me the following tweet "Please enter me into the book giveaway!"

The more times you enter, the greater your chances of winning will be! The winner will be announced right here on the blog on my birthday - Saturday November 5.

Got questions? Leave a comment below or e-mail me at knotchocolate@gmail.com.

Good luck!

*Book will be shipped directly to the winner via U.S. Postal Service.

Yes, There Are Good Wives on Reality TV

2011-10-27T19:45:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big fan of reality TV, but I've seen enough "Real Housewives" to know that positive examples of happily married women are few and far between. So I figured since the pickings are so slim, I would feature the ones I think are doing us proud.

In my opinion, each of the following women show pretty good examples of marriage what marriage can/should be. They communicate with their husbands. They work through issues using good principles of conflict resolution. They spend quality time with their husbands when possible. They are family-oriented. And best of all, their shows don't center around drama, gossip and petty arguments. Gotta love that :)

E! News host Guiliana Rancic (married to Apprentice winner Bill Rancic)

Actress Tia Mowry (married to actor Cory Hardrict)

Actress Tamera Mowry (married to Fox News Channel corresondent Adam Housley)

DJ and TV Personality Lala Vasquez (married to NBA star Carmelo Anthony)

Well, that's all I've got. Who else would you add to this list?

Pics: 1, 2, 3, 4

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4 Ways to Be a Sexy Wife

2011-10-26T21:17:00.000-04:00

Halloween is right around the corner. And costumes aren't just for kids. You can be a nurse, dominatrix, showgirl, police office, naughty secretary, teacher, superhero... the list could go on forever. Funny story - At the costume party we went to last week, I asked hubby which of the ladies' costumes were his favorites. He narrowed it down to the school girl and the Playboy Boy. *Noted and understood*
What are two things that guys absolutely LOVE? That's right! Food and lingerie! Give him a double whammy by cooking dinner in the kitchen wearing a new "outfit".
This one might be a hit or miss, but some guys do get turned on when you wear their shirts, particularly sports jerseys. Or you may try wearing one of his ties. I'm not sure what the intrigue is, but it doesn't hurt to try!
Take a shower while wearing a t-shirt. Nuff said.

Have fun :)

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The Heat is On

2011-10-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

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Winter is usually the season that I dread the most at home. I'm always cold. Hubby is always hot. What's a happy couple to do?

In year's past, hubby has won the temperature battle. Our gas bill gets ridiculously high, so I've been known to keep the heat off (or really low) and wrap myself in multiple layers with a space heater nearby to keep warm. But not anymore.

This year, I decided to give the gas company a call and lock in at a reasonable monthly rate before our gas bill skyrockets. Between November and February our bill usually reaches about $400. Yup, that's what we get for buying a 3,000 sq. ft. house. Our fireplace is pretty, but our space is too open for it to get really toasty. By locking, we'll save about 60% of what we normally spend without sacrificing ~~our~~ my warmth over the next few months.

I feel so grown up! Yay!

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Smiling Through the Misery

2011-10-23T21:26:00.002-04:00

Has your spouse ever put a smile on your face when you were in a miserable mood?

Saturday morning I woke up as sick as a dog. Coughing. Sneezing. Sore Throat. Runny nose. Yuck!

Hubby felt my forehead and said I didn't feel warm. Then he put is hand on my neck and said:

"Well, you are a little warm down here. But don't worry. That's just the heat generated from your double chin."

My double what??!!!! Oh no he didn't!

I could not stop laughing. And just for a minute, I completely forgot that I felt like death warmed over.

Because he's so good to me, I accompanied him to a costume party that night. He'd been looking forward to it all week. I felt awful, but we had a blast!

Our entire group (except me) was dressed as characters from the movie New Jack City. He was dressed as "G-Money". And he won 2nd place in the costume contest!

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Is It Possible to ALWAYS be Happy in Marriage?

2011-10-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Last week, an Atlanta radio host posted this on his Facebook page:

Who's feeling gutsy? What would you rate the percentage of happiness in your marriage?

"I'm ___% happy with my marriage."

There was nearly 200 responses. Some of my personal favorites...

I love my wife 100%. 90% of the marriage is great, the 10% makes me wonder if 90% is enough. Anyone that says 100% is lying.
95% after 7 years. The 5% is made up of stupid crap.
Depends on what day and time of the month...
100% Of course, we're also newlyweds :)
1,000,000+%
100% when she ain't around...
100% happy! but it has taken YEARS to get here :)

I also noted two very interesting trends:

The men's percentages were generally lower than the women's.
There was a ton of answers from mostly women saying they were 100% satisfied with their divorce... Ouch!

Anyway, some of the sappy 100% answers have me wondering... is it possible to be 100% satisfied in marriage 100% of the time?

For me, it really depends on the day and what's going on. If someone had asked me yesterday, my answer would have been 5,000% satisfied. But a few months ago, on July 31st to be exact, my answer wouldn't have been so nice.

What are your thoughts on happiness in marriage? Should it stay constant or is it normal to fluctuate?

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When Husbands Wear Heels

2011-10-17T07:00:00.000-04:00

Last week, a New York Times article explored an interesting phenomenon: men in heels.

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The men interviewed for the article insist that they are not cross-dressers, nor are they trying to be women. Heels are simply a fashion statement for them.

Yup, that's Lenny Kravitz
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While it seems to be a growing trend now, it's actually pretty old school. During the 1700s, wearing high heels was a sign of nobility for men in France. They were later banned by Napoleon. Also, Louis XVI reportedly wore 5-inch red heels in photos depicting wartime battle scenes.

And of course, the trend has made it's way into reality television, most notably by hairstylists Lawrence Washington (left) and Derek J (right).

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So ladies, would you be okay with your man making a fashion statement with heels?

I would have to give that a big fat...

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Study Says Marriage & Materialism Don't Mix

2011-10-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

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A new study suggests that materialistic people have unhappier marriages than people who don't care much about possessions. In fact, the least satisfying marriages were those in which both spouses cared strongly about material goods.

Other studies have found that anxiety, depression and insecurity are all prevalent in those who place lots of emphasis on material things. Here are some highlights from this particular study of 1,734 couples:

In 14% of the couples, both parties considered themselves "non-materialists"
The wife was the "highly materialistic partner" in 11% of the couples
In 20% of the couples, both parties considered themselves materialistic
The remaining couples landed in the middle of the two extremes
When it came to questions about marital satisfaction, the "non-materialists" answered more positively than any other group of couples.

The researchers predicted that materialism can hurt marriage in two major ways:

It causes spouses to make bad financial decisions.
It causes spouses to spend less time nurturing their relationships because they are so concerned with acquiring more stuff or "keeping up with the Joneses".

As a solution, the researchers suggest working on striking a balance between material things and a happy marriage. It is possible to have both!

I've mentioned before that in my marriage, hubby and I definitely have different views on money and shopping. We are definitely proof that opposites attract!

What is your experience with materialism in marriage? Would you consider yourself or your spouse materialistic?

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Reader Request: Cheap Date Ideas

2011-10-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

The Knot Chocolate has another letter from a reader who needs your help. Read Anissa's note below and leave a comment with your advice!

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My fiance and I will get married in the spring. I just read your blog about the new 3year itch and I think we have reach that point. We have gotten bored. And football season makes it hard because he is glued to the sofa. We go to eat and to the movies, but that's maybe only once a month. I need some ideas on other ways to spend quality time with him. Cheap ideas please! lol

Anissa

Thanks for the question Anissa! There are a ton of inexpensive date ideas for you to try.

Bowling
Skating
Go to the park
Take a cooking class
Attend a local high school football game
Depending on where you live, fall activities like apple picking are popular
Salsa dancing
Check your local museum websites for free or discounted admission
Buy some old school board games to play
Visit the library or bookstore and have quiet/quality time while reading (A good way to learn a lot about your future spouse is to take note of what kinds of books he reads!)

You can also check out my Dope Date Night Idea post. And when you're ready to splurge on a not-so-cheap weekend getaway, read the post about our Spring Staycation.

Anyone else have low-cost date ideas for Anissa?

(Got questions of your own? E-mail me at knotchocolate@gmail.com!)

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He Knows He's Not Getting Laid When...

2011-10-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

I was reading The Housewife Blog the other day. She was explaining how putting her retainer in at night is a clear sign to her hubby that he will "knot" be getting lucky that night.

So that made me think... way other ways do we signal to our men that tonight is "knot" the night?
(Disclaimer - I'm not saying I'm guilty of any of these. I'm just saying...)

Flannel or baggy pajamas

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Hair with rollers, or tied/wrapped with a bandana or scarf

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"Granny panties"

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Cold cream or facial mask

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What other no-sex signals can you think of?

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A Lesson in Marriage... from a Bear

2011-10-06T06:00:00.000-04:00

I blogged earlier this year about the new 3 year itch. It's basically a revised version of the infamous 7 year itch - the timeframe in which experts say that couples begin to get bored and annoyed with each other.

So what does it take to find a new appreciation for your spouse?

Maybe a violent bear attack.

The lives of a Pennsylvania couple were turned upside down when a black bear chased their dog right into their home. The bear first went after the husband, then the wife.

The story takes a turn when the husband jumped on the giant bear to try and save his wife, ultimately taking a severe beating himself. He sustained a number of injuries including 20 puncture wounds from the bear's bites. He needed 37 sutures to sew up his head.

The wife suffered severe bites to her buttocks, breast and torso.

In the end, they saved each others lives. And both say that this tragedy has made them realize their love for each other. The article seems to suggest that they may have been having marital troubles before the bear attack.

The couple is prepared to deal with the added stress brought on by the attack. Not only have they racked up thousands of dollars in medical bills, but they have to deal with explaining to their son why he can't play outside unsupervised anymore.

Moral of the story: Learn to appreciate your spouse NOW before it's too late.

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When the Husband is Away...

2011-10-05T19:26:00.000-04:00

I'm going on my 5th (and final) day without my hubby. And I've been absolutely miserable.

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I thought I might spend a night or two having drinks or dinner with friends. But my friends ~~suck~~ were either not available or just not up for it. So it's been me, myself and I since Sunday.

Don't get me wrong - there are some benefits to being temporarily spouse-less.

The house has remained clean and I haven't had to bug him about picking up after himself.
I've saved money, time and food since I haven't had to cook for him.
I got to watch this and this, neither of which I think he would have sat through.
I haven't had to nag him about leaving lights on in the bathroom, closet and kitchen - by far his most annoying habit.

But still, I'm ready for him to come back home. Thursday night can't come fast enough!

What's the longest amount of time you and your spouse have ever spent apart?

By the way - our record is 8 or 9 days apart. Back in 2005 his entire department went to Alabama and Mississippi to help fellow coworkers who lost their homes and jobs after a hurricane.

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The DIY Chronicles - Linen Closet

2011-10-05T06:00:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I featured one of my home "improvement" ventures. If you're not caught up, check out my previous projects below:

A few weeks ago (yes, it's taken me that long to finally post this) I decided to finally tackle some issues in our master bathroom.

Problem #1: The ironing board was blocking access to the linen closet.

For almost three years we've had to move the ironing board to the side every time we needed to get inside the linen closet. Yes, we're too lazy to put the ironing board up and down every day. It's so annoying!

Problem #2: The messy, disorganized linen closet.

Solution: This wall across from the linen closet was basically taking up space. I removed the artwork and bought a wall hanging device for the ironing board to stand vertically. Now we'll have to get used to putting the board up and down daily. Bummer.

Then I emptied the linen closet and refolded all the towels, wash clothes and bed linens. I tried to separate everything by color, but decided against it. It's not perfect, but it looks better than before, in my opinion.

Now the linen closet door can be opened and closed with ease.

Yayyy!

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Dangerous Day Care

2011-10-02T20:53:00.000-04:00

My Sunday evening routine usually involves reading the newspaper... after I cut all my coupons and skim through the sale papers, of course. I cannot read the actual newspaper until I've gotten my coupons out of the way.

Once I finished snipping, here is the headline that greeted me on the front page:

And then this...

Needless to say, this article freaked me out. Statistics show that Georgia is one of the worst states when it comes to day care-related accidents. I guess this is one of the reasons why Kelly and her husband were so against day care for their daughter. Even so, I myself attended a day care as a child and nothing ever happened, so I think these tragedies are definitely exceptions. But it's still enough to make me wonder...

Do your children (or will your future children) attend day care?

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His Last Words to Me

2011-10-02T16:28:00.000-04:00

Earlier this afternoon, I dropped hubby off at the airport. He's heading to Chicago for his company's annual business meeting. He'll be gone for five whole days!

So you know how when a normal person is leaving for a while and they leave you with a typical phrase like:

"I love you."
"Be careful."
"Call me later."
"Drive safely."

Not my husband. After he kissed me and told me he loved me, his last words to me were:

"I'm gonna squeeze your booty. And everyone's gonna see me do it."

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And he did.

Nice.

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Proof That Everything Happens for a Reason

2011-10-02T00:45:00.000-04:00

"Would you tell your best friend if you found out his/her spouse was cheating?"

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This is a question that everyone has pondered at least once. It's easy to come up with an explanation as to why you would or wouldn't share the news with your friend. But when it actually happens, it's a completely different story.

For the first time EVER, my hubby just happened to go to a farmer's market today. And while there, he just happened to see - no, not a friend - but a male FAMILY MEMBER romantically interacting with a woman who was NOT his wife. Of course, hubby called me right away and gave me a second-by-second play of what was going on.

"They're holding hands."
"They just put mangoes in the cart."
"They're looking at salsa."
"They didn't get the salsa."
"They're leaving! Should I say something?"

Did hubby confront them? Yes. Sort of. He walked over to greet them. But the guilty "man" (and I use that term very loosely) neglected to explain himself. And I guess he had no obligation to do so. He said hello and kept it moving with his lady friend.

Now we're stuck with making the decision to tell... or not tell... the wife. Again, this is family, so I think it has to be done. But there are so many things to consider.

What if she's one of those women who prefers not to know?
What if she finds out that we knew and didn't alert her as soon as we found out?
What if she doesn't believe us?
What if she already knows... and doesn't care? (That's gonna be awkward!)

Hubby thinks we should just stay out of it. But since he knows I'm unlikely to keep my mouth shut, he thinks I should wait a week. Since the husband knows that we're on to him, maybe he'll do us a favor and tell his wife before we I get to her.

I still can't believe, out of ALL DAYS my husband went to the farmer's market TODAY. Like I said, he's never been before! EVER! This is certainly proof that everything happens for a reason!

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Fun Facts Wednesday

2011-09-28T05:00:00.000-04:00

I've been seriously neglecting my blog lately. I just haven't been feeling very inspired. It's hard to come home and write you own blog when you write about 10 business blogs each day for a living.

But luckily Faith over at Life Love & Marriage gave me something to write about! She tagged me, so now I have to share 7 facts about myself. I shared some random things about myself a while ago. So let's see what else I can spill...

The directions are:

1. Write 7 things about yourself.
2. Give the "award" to other blogs.
3. Inform them about it!

Here we go!

I've been thinking about getting my PhD. In what? I have no idea.
I get extremely nervous when my gas tank reaches 1/3 full.
I started a Tumblr account, but I don't really know how to use it. So I haven't.
Fall is my favorite season.
I'm totally and completely obsessed with The Office. Remember this?
I love watching documentaries on lions, tigers, cheetahs and leopards. So fascinating!
I'm afraid of flying, especially over water.

I’m “awarding” this to:
Housewife Blogger
Good Nite Love
A Mocha Marriage

Have fun! :)

Justin Bieber's Awesome Date Night

2011-09-26T22:26:00.004-04:00

The older I get, the less I know and care about new comers in pop culture. But when I heard this story on the radio this morning, it put a smile on my face.

Some of you may know that (singer?) Justin Bieber is dating (actress?) Selena Gomez. Recently, the two went to a concert at Nokia Theater in Los Angeles. For most of us, that's enough for a pretty good date night. But the Beebs had to take it up a notch.

Source

He had his people call nearby Staples Center to set up a special screening. And since Bieber has sold out three concerts there, the Staples Center had no problem with lending him the 20,000 seat auditorium for free.

So in the middle of the concert, Bieber walked his girl through a private underground tunnel and into the Staples Center. The two of them sat alone and watched a private viewing of Titanic over a romantic candlelight dinner.

Cute, right?

My best date night wasn't quite as extravagant. It was Valentine's Day 2009. We didn't have reservations anywhere so we settled for a casual dinner at Red Lobster. Then hubby took me downtown where he had arranged for a private horse and carriage ride through the city. I was shocked that he took the time to plan. He never plans anything. It was freezing, but it took my mind off the fact that I'd been laid off two days earlier.

What has been your best date night?

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Creatively Saving Your Kids Memories

2011-09-23T16:16:00.000-04:00

With all the new tools and apps that come about seeminglyevery day, it’s no wonder that new (and seasoned) parents are finding some ofthe most creative ways to save and share their kid’s memories.

Here’s something I stumbled upon while cruising Pinterest atwork today. It’s a great way to chronicle your child’s entire life, year afteryear. How cool is that?

Source

I’m SO doing this for my kid… whenever I have one, that is.

Happy Friday!

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Does Pregnancy Affect Your Fashion Sense?

2011-09-17T10:29:00.000-04:00

When Beyonce announced her pregnancy a few weeks ago, she was glowing on the red carpet. Although the dress wasn't her normal form-fitting attire, she still looked great.

But maybe the hormonal imbalance is beginning to take away from Bey's keen fashion eye because over the last week, she's appeared at other red carpet events in rather unflattering get ups.

Here's what she wore the other day to a Mercedes Benz New York Fashion Week event:

Not only did online voters agree that this look was a fashion fail, but the Fashion Police on the E! network crowned her as this week's worst dressed celebrity. Ouch.

Then there was this other New York Fashion Week event. Saggy boobs Bey? Really?

Solange looks fab by the way. But maybe Bey will shine in a solo photo...

Ok, maybe not.

Maybe she's sworn off mirrors so she doesn't have to look at her weight gain. She's still gorgeous though!

Images from Vibe Vixen, Necole Bitchie and The Afro Lounge

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How Marriage Can Help You Avoid Pushy Sales People

2011-09-12T22:29:00.000-04:00

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These days, no matter where you go, somebody's trying to sell you something. Just ask my boy Talk 2 Q. He knows.

A recent study showed that more people are "using" their cell phones to avoid conversing with people in public. I'll admit to that. I'll put my phone on silent and hold it up to my ear to make it look like I'm talking just so I can avoid all the pushy sales people I encounter. Let's face it. Sales people have invaded our malls, grocery stores, the gas station and even our front doors. Everyone's got that sales pitch that's designed to get us to pull out our wallets. But I've got something for them. I've got nothing against sales people. I just don't appreciate how they try pushing their mediocre products and services down my throat.

In Walmart, it's Direct TV trying to get me to switch from cable to satellite.
In the mall, it's the cell phone guys, and the pushy folks trying to sell ProActiv and sell nail care kits (you know, the ones who grab your hand.)
At the gas station, it's the model-type chicks trying to sell car washing products.
At Best Buy, it's everyone in a blue and yellow shirt selling satellite TV and cell phone contracts.

But I have a simple way to cut their sales pitch in half.

To the Direct TV folks I say: Oh, my husband works for the cable company and it's free, so I'm good.
To the cell phone guys I say: Oh, my husband works for (insert name of competitor), so I'm good.
To the gas station model-type chicks I say: Oh, my husband just bought some of that the other day!
To the Best Buy folks I say: Oh, I have to ask my husband first. Let me go find him. *disappear*

And for the jokers who try to sneak a peek at my ring finger to see if I'm really married, I let them get a close up look at the bling and go on my merry way.

How do you respond to pushy sales people?

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Why I'm Mad at Idris Elba

2011-09-07T21:15:00.000-04:00

Remember I told ya'll about the upcoming concert that hubby and I would be attending? Well it took place over Labor Day Weekend.

Something told me to check the website before we left. It specifically says:

For reserved, row-on-row seating shows, you can only bring one factory-sealed plastic beverage container, one liter or smaller. Alcohol and other food and beverages are not allowed.

So we didn't bring anything.

Low and behold, we get there and EVERYONE in our section has picnic baskets filled with goodies. Wine. Crackers and cheese. Fried chicken. Crab legs! Did I say wine? We had to go to the concession stand and paid nearly $30 for two hot dogs and three drinks.

Anyway, the performances started about 35 minutes late. Keep in mind this is an outdoor venue, so it was hot as hell. Carl Thomas was on stage for about 15 minutes. About 10 minutes too long for me. Track suit in 2011 = FAIL!

But El Debarge was the highlight of the evening. He was great.

He even brought Chico out for a duet.

Ron Isley was a bit boring. Although he was the headliner, he pretty much stayed in the same spot for the entire hour that he was on stage.

Anyway, one of the reason that many women attended this show was because it was supposed to be hosted by Idris Elba. So why did this fool come out when the entire show was over?? And dressed like he had just come from the gym???

Smdh.

UPDATE - "Should I Fire My Nanny?"

2011-09-06T20:31:00.002-04:00

Have you liked The Chocolate Knot on Facebook yet? Do it now!

Last week's post about Kelly's dilemma with her nanny has quickly become one of the most popular pages on The Chocolate Knot. Be sure to read it if you haven't already! "Kelly" e-mailed me this morning with an update, along to some clarifications.

I am so grateful for the feedback and advice your readers provided.

First off, I think some readers may have gotten the wrong idea about one thing. When my daughter calls the nanny "mama", she does laugh it off, but she also reminds baby girl that she is Miss DeeDee, not mama. I guess mama is easier to say for a 1 year old lol. But we do try to reinforce who is who. I guess it'll catch on at some point.
For now, it looks like I'm going to remain at work and keep the nanny. Quitting my job would immediately affect our ability to pay bills since we have no savings.
The best advice I saw was to start new routines with my daughter that the nanny won't be involved in. I think "mommy and me" time will be a really good way to show her that mommy can do things with her and for her that the nanny cannot. I'm really excited about trying new things with my baby girl! That was awesome advice! THANK YOU!
As Nysle said, good help is hard to find. We've heard so many day care horror stories. I don't think we'll ever find anyone as perfect as our nanny. She's truly a blessing. And she's really affordable for all the services she provides.
Another reason I became a stay at home mom was because I despised corporate America. I was so sick of sitting at a desk for almost 10 hours a day. But my job now is pretty awesome. I like my coworkers. I don't cringe at the thought of going in every morning, so I'm not ready to let go of that yet.
My husband and I decided to monitor the nanny situation over the next 90 days. If it still bugs me after that, I'll consider an evening job so that the baby is with me during the day and I'll still get to work. The only down side is that I'll barely ever see my husband since he'd be at work during the day and I'd be at work at night. We'll figure out that hurdle when we get to it.

Thanks again for all of the input. And I found some really good new blogs to read!!!

Forever Grateful,
"Kelly"

Do you have a question for The Chocolate Knot? E-mail me at knotchocolate@gmail.com!

What We Ate in August

2011-08-31T18:53:00.000-04:00

(Find out what we ate in July!)

Baked chicken, mac & cheese, green beans. (I don't have time to make homemade mac & cheese during the week, so sometimes I have to settle for boxed.)

Chicken & shrimp kabobs (along with green & red peppers, onions, potatoes)

Pepper steak, corn and brown rice.

Baked tilapia, red skin mashed potatoes and salad. (I use the BEST salad dressing in world!!!)

Stuffed chicken breast, salad, and Hawaiian rolls

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"Should I Fire My Nanny?"

2011-08-31T17:46:00.000-04:00

I wouldn't exactly consider The Chocolate Knot an advice blog, but that doesn't mean I can't help my loyal readers out when they're in a bind. I got the following e-mail from an anonymous reader last week whom I'll refer to as "Kelly". Since this deals with parenting, I'm turning this over to all my moms (and dads) out there! Should Kelly fire her nanny?

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My husband and I have been married since 2006. In 2009 we decided that we were ready to start a family.

I gave birth to my daughter in May 2010. Our plan all along was for me to be a stay at home mom. And that worked out perfectly for about five months.

Around October 2010, my husband lost his job. We were okay until after the holidays and our savings were almost gone. In February 2011, my husband landed a new job, but his income was nowhere near what he was making before. So we decided that it would be best if I returned to the workforce.

Before I even got pregnant, my husband and I both agreed, for a variety of reasons, that we would never put our child in daycare. That was the main reason I became a stay at home mom – I wanted to raise my child until she was ready for pre-school. But with the economy taking a toll on our financial stability, we both knew we needed to do something. And me returning to work seemed like the only answer.

After asking for tons of recommendations and doing plenty of research online, we hired a nanny. She’s not nearly as expensive as we thought she would be. The nanny has been a complete joy. She’s never given us a single problem or reason to doubt her ability to care for our daughter. Having a nanny that we trust has given me the ability to work full-time and help provide for my struggling family.

The problem, though, is that our daughter seems to have gotten a bit too attached to the nanny.

She’s started calling the nanny “mama” instead of me. She cries when the nanny leaves. She cries for the nanny late at night. She doesn’t run into my arms when I get home from work in the evenings. Every week, Monday through Friday from 6:30 a.m. until about 6 p.m. our daughter is with the nanny, so I guess it’s easy to understand how they’ve become so attached.

All of this has taken a toll on me emotionally, mentally and even physically. It’s also taking a toll my marriage. I feel like I'm at work all the time and I don't get to see the little parts of her growing up every day. I’m dying to get rid of the nanny and come back home to care for my child. But my husband insists that me quitting my job is not a financially viable option. I’m completely torn about whether I should sit back and watch the nanny become my child’s pretend mother, or do I risk our family’s financial well-being and go back to being a stay at home mom so my daughter can finally get to know ME. Some sound advice would be much appreciated!

Help Kelly out ya'll! Leave a comment with your advice below!

Do you have a question for The Chocolate Knot? E-mail me at knotchocolate@gmail.com! And don't forget to like The Chocolate Knot on Facebook today!

Times Have Changed

2011-08-26T16:22:00.000-04:00

I stumbled upon an interesting find over at Woman’s Day.

Their Evolution of the Household compares how we live at home today vs. how our parents and grandparents have lived over the past 50 years.

I made this chart to illustrate some of the most prevalent findings:

Other interesting findings include:

Average cost of a dozen eggs in the 1950s: $5.29 (WTH??)
Percentage of families with a husband and wife present in the 1950s: 87%
Percentage of households with a TV in the 1950s: 24%

Wow, times have changed!

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21 Questions

2011-08-23T19:59:00.001-04:00

Have you ever found yourself saying (or thinking) one of the following phrases about your marriage?

"I already know everything there is to know about him/her."

"There are no more surprises between us. We know each other so well."

"I know him/her better than he/she knows himself/herself."

I'll readily admit that I'm guilty of thinking all of this. But experts believe that these thoughts are not healthy for a happy marriage.

There's a simple solution though.

Start ~~nagging~~ asking questions!

Simple questions about your spouse's favorite color or food are a good start. You can also bring on the hard hitting questions about life goals, regrets, etc. If you keep digging, you'll eventually find a new piece of information that you didn't know about your spouse. And of course, this technique helps to keep the lines of communication open.

Try it today!

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Always Say Yes

2011-08-19T11:46:00.000-04:00

An acquaintance of mine once gave me the following marriage advice:

“Anytime your husband asks if you want to go out and do something, always say yes.”

It doesn’t matter if it’s as simple as going to the grocery store for eggs, or as extravagant as a weekend getaway. Always. Say. Yes.

Her reason is because she never wants to look back on her life/marriage and have few or no memories of her and her husband spending one on one time together, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

I think that’s fair, so…

A couple of days ago, I took her advice. Marty asked if I wanted to go to the upcoming Isley Brothers concert (featuring El Debarge and Carl Thomas). My heart said no, but my mouth said yes.

My first thought was that we are going to be the youngest people at this concert. Marty disagrees. And never mind the fact that we’ve been together for over 7 years and have NEVER been to a concert together. (Is that weird?)

I actually am looking forward to it though. I’m sure it’ll be better than the much anticipated Watch the Throne Tour, which I seriously considered attending until I learned that two tickets would run more than $500. Blank stare.

Anyway, the Isley Brothers concert will be held at Chastain Park, one of Atlanta’s only outdoor music venues. Guests are able to bring blankets, lawn chairs, picnic baskets, wine, food, etc. So this will definitely be a new experience for us. I’m glad I said yes.

The Ring

2011-08-10T21:23:00.000-04:00

My husband likes to throw random things at me. Mainly balled up paper towels and sweaty socks.

But last night he threw something new at me. His wedding ring.

I stared at him, waiting for an explanation that never came. Soon, he was fast asleep. I stuffed his ring into my pocket. About an hour later, I decided to put the ring somewhere else before I forgot and my jeans ended up in the hamper or worse - the washing machine.

Fast forward to 5 a.m. this morning. My husband shakes me awake three whole hours before I need to get up.

"Tiffany, where did you put my ring?"

I had a better question: "Why did you throw it at me?"

"I need you to take it in for a cleaning."

Blank stare. "So is that how you communicate that you need your ring cleaned? You throw it at me?"

He smiles. Did I mention it's 5 a.m.?

Somewhat frantically he says "I need my ring so I can go to work! Where is it?".

Music to my ears. I pointed him to the area in the bathroom next to my toothpaste. Probably not the safest spot, but whatev.

And all was right with the world.

The Chocolate Knot

Survey: Do Office Romances Lead to Marriage?

Things I Do That Annoy My Husband 2.8.12

Study: Arguing May be Good for Marriage

Crazy Things My Husband Does 2.3.12

5 Common Marital Styles... Which One is Yours?

A Funny Text Exchange

The Benefits of Healthy Marriages

For Women

For Men

For Communities

365 Days of Us

Divorce News Makes Me Sad

WTH? Rapper Happily Married for 20 Years

Study: Couples Benefit from Spending Time with Other Couples

Where is Jessica Biel's Engagement Ring?

Wives on the Red Carpet at the 2012 Golden Globes

If I Ruled the World

Marriage Advice from Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.12.12

I've Been Tagged

What My Husband Taught Me About Credit Cards

Does Facebook Cause Cheating?

Joint vs. Separate Accounts... Which is Better?

Why Husbands Shouldn't Be Allowed to do Mic Checks

Crazy Things My Husband Does 1.5.12

Is It Okay to Sue Your Spouse's Lover?

What Does Marriage Mean to You?

2011 Blog Shout Outs

Happy New Year!

Top 20 Blog Posts of 2011

Awkward Holiday Moments with the In-Laws

The DIY Chronicles: Book/Shoe Shelf

New Study Reveals Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Grandma Should be Having Sex

How Marriage Check-Ups Work

Is Your Boss Ruining Your Marriage?

5 Reasons You Should Cuddle Tonight!

Top 10 Reasons Why People Get Divorced

Studies Continue to Show that Marriage is Good for Your Health

Our Christmas Wreath

Hubby's Fashion Fail

Hot Gift for 2011: Kindle Fire

On the Hunt for Hubby's Christmas Gift

Can Having Married (not Single) Friends Hurt Your Marriage?

The Marriage Check Up

When Facebook and Marriage Collide

Husband Finds Diamond in the Rough

Who Keeps the Ring?

Signs of a Good Weekend Ahead

Book Giveaway Winner!

Book Giveaway! (UPDATED)

Yes, There Are Good Wives on Reality TV

4 Ways to Be a Sexy Wife

The Heat is On

Smiling Through the Misery

Is It Possible to ALWAYS be Happy in Marriage?

When Husbands Wear Heels

Study Says Marriage & Materialism Don't Mix

Reader Request: Cheap Date Ideas

He Knows He's Not Getting Laid When...

A Lesson in Marriage... from a Bear

When the Husband is Away...

The DIY Chronicles - Linen Closet

Dangerous Day Care

His Last Words to Me

Proof That Everything Happens for a Reason

Fun Facts Wednesday

Justin Bieber's Awesome Date Night

Creatively Saving Your Kids Memories

Does Pregnancy Affect Your Fashion Sense?

How Marriage Can Help You Avoid Pushy Sales People

Why I'm Mad at Idris Elba

UPDATE - "Should I Fire My Nanny?"

What We Ate in August

"Should I Fire My Nanny?"

Times Have Changed

21 Questions

Always Say Yes

The Ring